Giddy

It's a rush.
You know that feeling when your in space and all the molecules in your body want to fly in a separate direction but are forced to be stuck within your body so a wrenching pain of energy is blasting from every pore in your body.
a pulse of energy erecting from every molecule and you just want to explode.
The lack of oxygen turnging your skin purple and ever nanosecond is agony.
but it's all for the best.
that hollow feeling deep within the very pit of your soul that knows every thing will be back to normal in a few minutes.
the perplexing virtigo you get seconds before your collapse and wake up from that horrible nightmare.
and your suddely feel the urge to do it once more.

you want to feel the shortness of breathe the slowly recurring noises, (subtle at first) then a gradual impulse of sounds buyrsting through every nerve in your head. you want it to stop but the bang just persists.
you wanna die for just one seond before your back in space.
your eyes want to split in two and your heart is now moving so fast that it feels like is not moving at all.
the paradox within your heart empty but extremely heavy.

reoccuring sounds mumbles of ideas scrambling to releave all the pressure in your lungs. all sences shot. darkness  followed by light and every thing you know is back as you left it.

that wonderful nightmare is over.

but the urge to relive it is still there.
the pain is unbearable. but the urge is much more.

silence.