Apples

A man can only take so much.
I being less than a man can take much less.
and have certainly surpassed my own means.

I need to deflate
for I have no more room in which to expand.

I have been pushed to far.
Played with for too long.
and I've held myself back

I know I'll regret it.
perhaps I won't

I've never once tried to have my cake and eat it too.
I'd much rather have it out of my sight then to die every moment I see it.
though I'd die if it were not in my sights and I'm dying cause it is out of my reach.
was I so vain as to believe I owned a star in the sky?
to selfish to realize that I can not own something I was never entitled to.

have I wasted so much time and effort building a thrown for another king?

ah, but I dine in the presence of such beauty ever so rarely.
and my word never so strong as to invoke the slightest of affection

My Love,
silence is the greatest of insults.
and absence brings the greatest of pains.

am I so pathetic as to worry of such trivialities?
am I not entitled to wonder if the fruits of my efforts have rot?

I fear my anger. for it may cost me more then my efforts.
but patience has worn ever so thin.
I want to vanish as quickly as I came.
though no matter how much pain I have been inflicted with I seek to stay one more day. 


my need for knowledge will get the best of me. 

Perhaps I've only been reaping what I have sown.

someone please bring me peace.